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GOLDEN RULES OF SOCIAL MEDIA Keep Your Elbows off the Computer Table (and Online Etiquette that Mom Wants You to Know) O Michelle Golden Michelle is a growth and profitability strategist. With her deep knowledge of firm operations and sharp observation skills to quickly grasp a firm's nuances, she guides practitioners toward improved profitability and stronger, healthier cultures. She focuses on strategic consulting and facilitation around long- and short-term planning, positioning and pricing, messaging, and communications (both online and off). ur parents taught us some basic social skills like keeping our elbows off the table and to have a firm, yet not death-grip, hand- shake. Tese are timeless but new scenarios have emerged. As a parent of four, I never considered that I should teach my kids some online etiquete, too. I wish I had, and at least my youngest will benefit from this reflection (lucky her!). Other than "avoid all caps because it means you're yelling," there's litle guidance on how to be polite, polished, and effective using today's modes of com- munication. Bad online etiquete can send employee, peer, and client relations plummeting. Offenses are certainly prolific. So if mom taught us how to behave with all our electronic interactions, whether text, email, or other web-based channel, what are the three most important things she would have instructed? Don't skip "Hi" and "Bye" As kids, most of us learned to answer the phone with something akin to: "Hello. Smith residence. To whom am I speaking?" and to end calls with: "Tank you for calling. Good bye. with the fax coversheet. "See atached," was innocent enough, but the beginning of very bad form. Is it really that hard to add, "Hello Jody, see atached. Best regards, Gene. "? An opening as brief as "Hi," is just fine in most cases. And when space permits, why not be even more pleasant with "Good morning" or "I hope this finds you well. Too many people are skipping sign-offs, " too. Especially among colleagues or family members. Familiarity breeds contempt? If you don't routinely write a closing, create an email auto-signature "Best wishes, Joe. " And if you send email from your handheld or tablet devices, tailor your auto-signature to indicate that you're using a mobile device. Tis helps recipients understand that general brevity is most likely due to your tiny, awkward keypad and not something related to how you feel about them. And if you're done with your text, IM, or direct-message conversation, indicate it. "Gota run, nice chating, " Leters begin with "Dear" and end with "Cordially" but online, these openings and closings are usually absent. They aren't just fancy formalities; they set a tone. Tey let people know our mindset. In print or online writing, we cannot consistently tell if someone is pleased or annoyed, calm or harried (and if harried or annoyed, is it due to us?) without clues. When clues are absent, human nature dictates that the recipient will assume the worst. With the first text you send in a day, or in any email, direct message, or instant message, greet someone before launching into your purpose for writing. Regardless of the sender's intent, messages are per- ceived as demanding and curt when they lack an opening or when they end abruptly with no closing. When did we become so rude? I think it probably preceded email and began 30 October 2012 t www.CPAPracticeAdvisor.com " or even GTG, TYL (got to go, talk to you later) is more considerate than disappearing without closure. Acknowledge people who address you Do you go to a party and refuse to interact? When people come to your home, do you pretend they aren't there? Of course not. Yet when people directly address each other electronically, all sorts of ignoring goes on. We're all busy, but if someone comments on your blog post, or sends you an email, sending even a quick, "Tanks for your message, I'll give you a thoughtful reply as soon as possible!" goes a very long way. If someone responds to your Facebook or LinkedIn post, or mentions you on their own or someone else's post, do acknowledge the fact that they've spoken to you. Clicking "like" or typing "thanks" takes less than two seconds. People who post things on LinkedIn, Twiter, Facebook, or blogs, and fail to acknowledge any comments at all, come across as aloof and arrogant. And don't be exclusionary. Acknowl- edging some comments and not others is rude in a cliquey way. For the ignored person, it's the social equivalent of standing in a group of people, saying something, and having no one look at or respond to you. If someone routinely annoys or offends with their posts, consider discon- necting (aka "unfriending" or "unfol- lowing") them, or limit what they can see within your privacy setings. Another way to be both well mannered and more effective online is to be hospi- table and gracious at the time of connecting with someone. When you invite someone to connect on LinkedIn or Facebook, remind the person how you know one another ("nice meeting you at the confer- ence reception last week") and say that you'd be honored to connect. Once they accept, send another message saying "thanks" and that you're looking forward to staying in touch. If someone invites you to connect, send a message thanking them for reaching out and, again, let them know you're looking forward to staying in touch. If someone invited you to their home, you wouldn't dream of not thanking them. Not doing so online is a missed opportunity for engagement as well as being inconsiderate. If you're genuinely too busy to reply when people address you through one communication vehicle or another, then perhaps you should exit that vehicle (e.g., close the Twiter account, disable Face- book, or sign out of Skype). Help raise the bar. Don't be aloof online. Interact with grace. If you have nothing nice to say… There's more! Read the rest of Michelle's etiquette tips at www.CPAPracticeAdvisor.com/ 10770452.